A bittersweet day
Yesterday I had a really bittersweet day. I was literally an emotional wreck. Time is flying by so quickly. It was a moment of realization that my little girl is taking her first step towards her life outside the house. It was her first day of preschool. We(my husband and I) wanted her to join preschool so she can socialize with other kids, and since we speak our native language at home, Italian is a foreign language to her. I didn’t want her to feel left behind or shocked once she starts nursery, when the kids are way more interactive and spend more time away from home. In preschool kids are still learning to communicate, and I wanted her to warm up to the idea of new language and spending time in school. Because ever since she’s born, she goes with us everywhere we go. I have never had any baby-sitters or left her anywhere. And it makes me so much more emotional.
I’m so not used to being away from her, even if it’s just an hour or two. I stayed there with her for about half an hour and then I left. I kid you not, I didn’t know what to do after that(lol). I hope I don’t sound crazy. But I’m pretty sure I don’t, because I ran into my neighbor on my way back home and she asked me where my little girl was. I told her it’s her first day at preschool, and my neighbor started to reminisce about her bittersweet memories, honestly that made me feel better. Because up until that point I was feeling a little crazy, happy, emotional and confused. Honestly being a parent is the most confusing thing ever. You want them to grow, but seeing them grow makes you emotional. I came back home and it was Q U I T E ! and I that’s NOT NORMAL to me anymore !
The night before yesterday I was picking up her outfit, and packing her little bag. It was such a bittersweet feeling. I was super super happy but I don’t know what ! Ahh ! I couldn’t sleep the whole night, kept tossing and turning the whole night and thinking about how time has flown by so quickly. It feels like yesterday I brought her home from hospital, and now I’m getting her prepared to reach big milestones in her life.
When I went back after an hour and a half to pick her, she came running to me and gave me the biggest and tightest hug ever. It was such an amazing feeling. Of course eventually we’ll get used to it, but there’s nothing wrong in feeling the way you feel, even if it’s once or may be twice a week thing. I’m glad we took that step, it’s good for her and it’ll make things easier for her when she starts proper nursery.
I honestly think it’s so hard for non-native kids to survive in the foreign environment. If you live away from your native country it’s always a good idea to start a little early and get them prepared, so they don’t feel left behind, shy or weird to be completely honest. I don’t like it when parents say, ohhhh they learn ! oh they learn anyway ! And I’m like do you even know how it feels like to be left out ? and be the odd one out ? Yes they eventually learn ! Absolutely true but why put them through that trouble ? Kids at school can be pretty cruel sometimes, not because they intend to, but because they’re just to darn honest and vocal about the things that go through their minds. As we grow we learn to put filter on our mouths, but they don’t know that, they are not calculated. But at the same time their unfiltered opinion can really hurt your child’s feelings and self-esteem.
I think everyone’s parenting style is different, and everyone wants the best for their child, and I’m nobody to tell anyone what they should/shouldn’t do. But I strongly believe starting a little early and getting them warmed up to the idea of change really helps, not only them but also you. You get the peace of mind. Just the idea of knowing, if they need anything or if they’re not feeling well, they can tell that to someone gives so much peace to your mind. Because trust me sending your child to school is not the easiest thing to do, and if it’s a total culture shock for them, where they can’t even communicate. I can only imagine how it’d be like for both, parents and the child.
I know this post is not like my usual posts, and I rarely ever share posts like these, but this is something I feel really strongly about. I hope you find this post helpful in someway.
Good Luck !